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Slow Your Beau/Transcript
Bev/Edie: Straining Edie: And stretch, touch your toes if you can, but don't strain. Jade: Don't worry, I won't strain. Bev: Not straining, just Straining believing! '' '''Edie': And relax. Exhaling Edie: As my adored lifestyle curator, Wisteria, always says, "Relaxation is the foundation of manifestation." Bev: Uh, Edie, I know you're one of Wisteria's biggest fans- Edie: The biggest. Bev: So, could you explain what that thing you just said she said actually meant when you said when she said it? Edie: Um, I bet she explains it on her website somewhere. Back in a sec. Everyone, keep relaxing. Roxie/Bev: Sighing Edie: Aaah! Wisteria's coming to downtown Paw-Tucket! ''She's bringing her exquisitely tasteful self to tape her show, ''The Purr-fect You, right here at the Littlest Pet Shop! Gasp How did I not know this?! Roxie: It says there's only three seats left for the taping, beeping Edie: And now they belong to us. Jade: Ooh. There's only three tickets, but there's four of us. This could get ugly. Cool. Bev: That's okay, I don't need one. Jade: Huh?/'Edie': Gasp Roxie: Don't you wanna go? Bev: Sure, but my old friend Beau is some kind of big deal producer for the show, so I can probably just watch from backstage. Edie: You know someone who works ''for Wisteria?! Aah! Oh breathe, Edie! Breathe! Hyperventilating '''Edie': Okay, just so there's no confusion, if any of you know anypet or know anypet who knows anypet who is famous at all, tell me now! Beau: Why, Bev, as I live and breathe and hibernate for the winter, it's you! Bev: Beau, it is me! Shell bump! Bump Beau: I haven't seen you since we were hatchlings in the reptile shop. Bev: And look at you now, a bigshot producer! I always knew you'd be something special! Beau: Aw shucks, Bev! It means a lot you see me that way. vibrating Yelp Oh, gettin' a text! From Wisteria! Edie: Squee Beau: Sorry, gotta go. It's been fun. Bev: Wait! You've got to meet my friends! Beau: Oh, I'd love to. Later. Edie: I'm Edie! I'm such a fan of The Purrfect You, I never miss a moment! Wisteria has inspired me to do some cooking of my own! Roxie: She makes a chia seed casserole that's to die for. Jade: I even like it, and I don't like things. Bev: Here's the recipe, Beau. Maybe you could show it to Wisteria and see if she'll use it on her show, if it's not too much trouble. Edie: Pleeeeease, please, please, please, please, please! Puh-leeeeease! Beau: Okay, okay, I'll show it to her. Edie: Gasp Beau: Buuut if I help you out, maybe you could help me out? Kind of an I-wax-your-shell-you-wax-mine deal? Edie: I guess so. Beau: Awesome. I'll text Bev a list of things I need. Lighten my load and I'll find time to help recipe bird over here. Gotta jet, time is money! Trip: I got the brush on Beau's list. Huh? At least I had it, where'd it go?' 'Yank Ouch! Bev: Oh, this is a paddle fur brush! The list says to get a vented fur brush. Trip: There's a difference? Roxie: No worries, we happened to grab a vented one just in case. Bev: Except that the brush is supposed to have a combination of natural and synthetic bristles. Roxie: Trip? Trip: On it. Bev: Just five more errands and we're done! vibrates Ooh, Beau again. Make that seven more errands and we're done! Roxie: You know, Beau's making us do an awful lot of work before he even lifts a claw to help Edie. Jade: Which seems kind of hiss-worthy. Bev: Beau's always been a talented go-getter and just wants to see a little of the same from us. If we come through for him, I know he'll come through for Edie. Edie: Plus, he's making us all a part of the exciting world of show business! Hairball remedy, extra strength, cherry-flavored. Eheeheehee! Music Beau: Geh, nah- slam Wisteria: Beau! '' '''Beau': Yelp Wisteria: What are you doing in my dressing room? And don't you dare say arranging flowers because I don't pay you to do that. Beau: Wisteria! Y-your fur... fabulous-looking! Wisteria: No I'm not, I can't do my fur without a proper brush. My gagging hairball is acting up. And I can't use my litterbox because it doesn't smell like peach. So, definitely not doing okay. Beau: W-Wisteria, I-I-I... Wisteria: But, I would be okay if my personal assistant, to whom I texted a shopping list an hour ago, had brought me each item I require. But that hasn't happened because he's in here mangling tulips! '' '''Beau': I-I-I'm so sorry! I've just been looking for one spare moment to show you my potential! Wisteria: I hope your plan wasn't to impress me with your flower arranging skills, because, well, this? Beau: No! Scoff Who arranged these? Gulp But, um, well... I-I-I've got something else I've been working on! Wisteria: Skeptically Really? Do tell. Music Wisteria: I must say, Beau, I'm impressed. Bev: Beau! There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you! Beat Beau: And here's the delivery lady with all of your stuff, just in time! Wisteria: Hairbrush! Bev: Oof! Thud Wisteria: Vented synthetic/natural bristles? Inhale My soul is at peace! Bev: I'm the 'delivery lady'? Beau: I-It's showbiz slang for 'good buddy'! Nothing makes sense in this business! Bev: Mmmm-okay. So you showed Wisteria Edie's recipe? Beau: Uh, yeah, you bet! Bev: Yay! You're awesome as ever! Anything else you need me to get, delivery lady? Beau: There's always something. I'll text you. Wisteria: So, as you can see, you'll sleep easy with these bedding solutions, not justt because they're fashionable and comfortable, but because they feel like home. What dog or cat or rabbit in your life wouldn't want a human lap-shaped bed to sleep on? In a way, they're even better than the real thing, because they never stand up! We'll be right back! Stage manager spaniel: And we're out. Wisteria: Ahhh... Lick Bunny: Giggle Edie: Um, do those ingredients look familiar to anypet? Jade: Is that a bowl of chia seeds? Roxie: Gasp Could Beau have told Wisteria about your recipe already? Giggling Beau: Hm? Bev: Beau, knocked out that second list already! Beau? Wisteria: Mmm! So amazing! And that, friends, is how to make a sensational chia seed casserole. Now, as a special treat, I'd like to introduce you to the creator of this recipe... Roxie: Gasp/'Edie': Squeeing Wisteria: ...Beau Tortello! Edie: What? Applause Bev: Growl Wisteria: Beau is just my personal shopper, but you never know where you'll find true talent. We'll be right back! Stage manager spaniel: And we're out. Bev: What?! ''Beau! What's going on here?! '''Beau': I, uh, well, see...! Bev: Edie, get down here! Wisteria: Security! How did she get in here? Beau: She's with me. Bev: But he did not ''come up with this recipe! My friend Edie did! Right, Edie? '''Edie': First, let me just say what a huge fan I am and what an honor this is! Wisteria: Sing-song Security! Bev: You don't have to drag me out, I'll walk out on my own! But I'll tell you one thing, he's not my delivery lady anymore! Wisteria: Can someone explain what's going on here? Beau: I can. I took Edie's recipe and passed it off as my own. I'm sorry, Edie. Wisteria: Edie Well, if that recipe is really yours, you're quite the chef. Edie: Why... thank you! Now if you'll excuse me a moment, I... Squeeing Bev: Beau, why? Why would you steal Edie's recipe? Beau: I just wanted so much for Wisteria to see I'm more than a personal shopper. But things sorta spiraled out of control. Will you accept my apology? Wisteria: Security! Bev: Wait! It's true, Beau really is incredibly talented. Just give us one chance to show you, you'll see! Stage manager spaniel: We're back from commercial in ten seconds. Bev: Remember what you used to do in our terrarium back at the reptile nursery? Beau: That was a million years ago! Applause opens Wisteria: This better be good. Bev: Beau's super talented at Zen gardening, he can create a peaceful oasis anywhere! Now you have a peaceful retreat in your very own trailer! Wisteria: I love ''it! Terrarium chic! It's a whole new lifestyle frontier! Perhaps I'll consider a producer slot for you, especially if you produce a cup of decaf pawberry tea with two shots of banana essence and half a mint leaf. '''Beau': I'll get you one of those right away, still-my-boss! Still an assistant, but making progress at least. Though I guess after all this, you probably don't look up to me anymore. Bev: Oh, I'll always look up to you, Beau. Beau: Not as much as I look up to you. Wisteria: Where's that tea?! Beau: Yelp Bev: Giggle Credits